FIRST PITCH

I got to my first baseball game of the season last night. We have a local AAA affiliate of the Anaheim of California, Los Angeles, and Surrounding Areas Angels. (Ok that is a joke – but I may have only amused myself with it.) The local team is called the Bees. It’s an AL affiliate so they have to use the Designated Hitter rule which is to bad, but it’s still professional baseball and it’s fun to watch.

The Bees have had pretty good teams the last few years which has also been fun to watch. They missed the play offs last year because in the end of the season they started to loose games – but they started to loose games because of how many of their players had been called up to the big league. So it was a mixed blessing – I got to see a bunch of guys that made the big time when they were local. But I missed out on seeing a playoff game for the PCL.

Last night I was given tickets by my Mom so I took my boys and met her and several other family members there to watch the game. We had a lot of fun – we got to see a real funnel cloud out over the lake as we walked up to the stadium (a rarity in these climes). My 10 year old got a game ball tossed to him by a Bees player and the six year old caught a promo Frisbee tossed into the crowd.

Team sports teach lots of things but I was fascinated last night by what watching a game could teach. Set aside for a moment all the times that my oldest and I talked over rules of the game and explained some of the strategies of the game, but look instead at what they learned by doing.

As the home team would run in from the field if a returning player had a ball he would toss it up to the kids waiting up above the dugout. So my boys would watch the game and when there were two outs they would get up – make their way down the stands and wait over the dugout – then wave and cheer and look hopeful as the players ran in. They were doing something on their own – without being guided or shepherded by me in any way. I could see them the whole time of course but this is something they did. The sense of accomplishment is much greater, I’m sure, because of their own actions. They learned it’s fun to get something by doing.

My youngest ate the entire time he was there. I made several trips to the counter with him to purchase peanuts and popcorn and typical ball game foods. He learned that you can just drop the peanut shells right on the ground at a baseball game. And also how much fun going to a ball park can be. This year is the first year that he is probably old enough to enjoy both the game and the experience – although he didn’t watch a lot of the game but more than he did last year for sure.

I don’t get to watch near as much of the game when I take my kids to a game but I love taking them anyway. When I go to a game myself I buy a brat and a soda on the way to my seat and never leave it once the game starts. With the kids I was up and down all the time helping them to the restrooms or buying the next bag of peanuts or jumping up to get pictures when they did something cute.

That kind of family activity is hard to beat – when I finally dropped the kids off that night they were tired but happy and so was I. Pretty good pay off for the first pitch of the year.

SERENITY QUIZ

I'm a sucker for web quizes. Since I've written about how much I liked Serenity before when I saw this quiz result up on my freinds site I had to take it too.

Your results:
You are Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)

Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 65% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 60% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 55% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 45% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 35% Wash (Ship Pilot) 30% Alliance 30% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 25% Inara Serra (Companion) 20% River (Stowaway) 10% A Reaver (Cannibal) 10%

You are good at fixing things. You are usually cheerful. You appreciate being treated with delicacy and specialness.

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz


I'm highly amused by this one and pleased with the results. All three characters that I rated high in I can see similarities in myself with them. I was a little suprised to see that I scored so low in Wash but I don't have any plastic dinosaurs either so maybe it's right.

FORTUNATE COOKIES

I like fortune cookies. Well technically I like opening fortune cookies – the cookie itself (with rare occasion) is a twisted dry lump of nearly inedible cardboard. Occasionally, I’ll find one that is really tasty. Not often but occasionally.

But by far the best part about getting a fortune cookie is opening up the cookie to get the fortune inside.

Every time I open one up, especially if I’m eating with friends, I desperately want to hold my fortune up as if I’m reading from it and say: “Help! I’m being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory.” This is a joke I heard from my Dad when I was young. It has now become so engrained in me that every time I open up a cookie, and I really mean every time, I want to say it. I usually manage to hold it in UNLESS I’m with my kids – then out it comes thus infecting the next generation with the same meme.

I hate when I get a platitude instead of a fortune in my cookie. This happens way to often. “You are a nice guy.” Well whoop-dee-doo. I don’t care. I already know what I am and I definitely don’t want a cookie commenting on me. “You like puppies.” Sheesh – these kinds of ‘fortunes’ are just stupid. Yes people like puppies – people think they are reasonably decent people – so platitudes can often apply to a wide range of people and I’m sure that is why then end up in fortune cookies. But I always feel ripped off when I get one. I want a fortune in my cookie, I want a prediction, not wisdom from the I-Ching or a banal platitude.

If I get a non-fortune in my fortune cookie I will throw it away with the chopsticks and the plate. If I get a fortune though, I’ll keep it around for a while. If it’s a really good fortune it will get stuck up to my mirror where it becomes a little positive affirmation for me every time I see it. Right now I’ve got two fortunes stuck to my mirror.

The first one says: "You will have many friends when you need them". I got this fortune one afternoon about seven months ago when I bought myself a dinner at the Panda Express. Panda Chinese food is comfort food to me – half fast food half Chinese I really enjoy it, and use it sometimes, as a pick me up. It was a message that I needed to hear at the time – it funny because I don’t deserve it but I have terrific friends. They have been a tremendous source of strength to me during this past year which has been rather difficult. I have needed them and they have always been there for me. I can’t get any luckier than that. I hope I can learn from them to be a good friend too.

This fortune is right at the top of my mirror and every time I see it I’m reminded of my friends and feel a surge of happiness just knowing that they are there if I need them.

Oddly enough given my feelings above, the second fortune up on my mirror IS a platitude not a prediction. This one though, had enough truth for me that I kept it. I got this fortune when after visiting a game store prior to playing D&D with friends (and buying new dice which I am clearly unable not to do when visiting the gamer store) we bought Chinese food on the way back to the game. My ‘fortune’ said: "A little madness, a little kindness, makes for happiness".

This one seemed to capture the feelings I have when I am the most happy. I love activities where I can be silly (mad if you will) and let out the comments I think of. It’s not a form of madness it’s rather a form of freedom but I imagine that it looks like madness to an outside observer. I love the times when I can talk and listen and visit with friends to. The best times have been the opportunities to help someone else with something in their lives. The chance to be kind to another really does create positive feelings.

Now it’s like nine in the morning and I have totally made myself want some Lo Mien. That is a peril of blogging that I had never imagined.

BETTER THAN BEFORE

I’ve written here before nostalgically. I’ve mentioned books I liked and I’ve talked about the types of games that you just don’t get anymore. I generally like my old music better than this new fangled stuff. Fortunately, I haven’t descended to the point where I’m complaining about how I had to walk uphill to school both ways though the snow or about how kids these days just don’t get it right any more. Even though I did and they don’t. I’m really really really fighting the urge to start quoting a Weird Al song called When I was Your Age from his Off the Deep End album. I’ll settle for those links instead.

I got my hair cut the other day. I usually go to SuperFantasticGreatCutsClipsSams because I can find one that doesn’t have a long waiting time and I have no brand loyalty to any of the incarnations of the shop. Sometimes I get a stylist who just wants to rush through my very simple style and get my money and sometimes I get a really good cut. I get good enough hair cuts to make me keep repeating the process it’s like a vending machine that usually works – I’m now conditioned to keep going there.

Stick with me, this will all tie together in the end. Well at least to me it will – your mileage may vary.

This most recent trip I had my hair cut by someone who was clearly of the type of stylist that wants to get the cut done right not fast. Her name was Carlie. I had a chance to talk with her a bit and she told me that the thing she likes the most about cutting hair was that she loved helping people to be happier and feel better. We talked about how you feel after you get your hair cut and what it does for your attitude and mood. I have to admit that my mood is always lifted by getting my hair cut.

As she was working on my hair and we were chatting I mentioned that I usually just let my hair flop and as long as it wasn’t sticking out anywhere I considered it as done. I admitted that this wasn’t so much of as style as it was a complete surrender to entropy. I asked her what would be better to do. She told me my hair was fine – but then as she was nearing the end of the cut she said that my hair would make a perfect Caesar I’d just have to learn to make the front part do what it was supposed to do. So I had her teach me how to do that. I’m not really good at it since I’m used to letting it flop and now I have to try and point the stuff in the front out but it’s definitely fun to have a change.

Next came my favorite part of any modern haircut – the shampoo and rinse. This is the all time greatest invention in modern hair styling. Frankly – I just like being touched anyway. And to have a pretty girl wash my hair is a definite kick. Again sometimes they are routine and quick and sometimes they are done well with a scalp massage. Carlie, again, did this part just right – she took the time to make it a pleasant experience.

While she was doing this I started to remember haircuts of old. So I told her about my first barber. I have no idea what his name was so I’ll just call him Floyd after the one from the Andy Griffith show. I didn’t like going to get my hair cut as a child – I hated having to wait for my turn – there was nothing to do and the place usually smelled like old people. When it was my turn I had no choice but to sit still and let Floyd do the one cut that he always did. The worst part, for me, was that he always asked me if I wanted my nose hairs trimmed. Every single time he asked that. For crying out loud to little kids EVEN HAVE nose hairs? I never knew what to say to that question and I spent the whole time dreading when he would ask it. I could probably use that now but definitely not as a kid. I hated going to Floyds. It wasn’t fun at all.

Old Floyd has nothing on Carlie. Sometimes the good old days and ways just aren’t. I'll take Carlies cut anyday. I'm glad some things have changed.

SS2 VS. NWN2

I have talked before about both System Shock 2 and about Never Winter Nights 2. I think I’m about nearly done with both games and it struck me as interesting this morning how differently I feel about the two of them. I’m excited to finish SS2 and I haven’t touched NWN2 for ages now. I believe that in both stories I’m at approximately the same place.

In SS2 I’ve moved up through the Von Braun to the umbilical where the UNN Rickenbacker is docked. The story is reaching a climax and important choices are ahead to be made. The game itself is atmospheric and eerie and very interesting to play. My resources are extremely limited and I have to consider how I use them carefully. I have an uneasy alliance with one of the bad guys but expect to be betrayed at any moment. I got to watch a fun little drama unfold in messages as two (of at least three other surviving humans) managed to get off of the Von Braun in an escape pod. Unfortunately, they took the last one with them so the UNN Rickenbacker is my only hope for survival right now.

In NWN2 I’ve built up my keep and have fought some battles while Aldernon the forgetful mage studies the book to tell us how to defeat the ancient evil threatening the land. The story is reaching its climax and I don’t feel that I have any choices to make in the upcoming story. The game is mechanical with very little feeling to it. I expect that I’ll be driven down the proper rails to the “final confrontation” and defeat the big bad (after watching the cut scene, dying, reloading, watching the cut scene, dying, reloading, watching the cut scene, and so on until I finally win the battle that starts right after the cut scene).

So the difference between the two is the level of emotional involvement that they have created in me.

ASIDE: NWN2 is a decent game and I have liked it so far – and to be fair the major advantage to NWN2 is the creation of the tool kit that will allow the user community to create more compelling stories. The single player game in NWN1 wasn’t very interesting either, but there were numerous user created stories that were very fun to play through and gave the game life well beyond what it was released with. Hopefully, the same thing will happen to NWN2.

The question is then how did the one game create an emotional reaction while the other one failed? In SS2 I feel like a part of the story and in NWN2 I feel like I’m watching the story. I think the major reason for this is the complexity of the two different stories.

NWN2 is a straight forward ancient evil has returned to the land and threatened your home – you must rise up from humble beginnings and defeat it. We’ve all seen that story a gazillion times. The twists and turns in NWN2 irritated me – for example the sudden realization of which two characters were related and then being railroaded into allying with the one character even though MY character never would. So far all of the plot twists have been parts of sub quests and the main story line has been quite simple.

SS2 is a complex story that unfolds slowly. The player knows right away that something is wrong on the Von Braun – the glimpse of a crewwoman running down a corridor screaming was the first clue. (Wait – that wasn’t the first clue but it was the first really dramatic scene in the game – and it was done with the in-game engine instead of a cut scene.) Allies shift as your goals change through the story. The players understanding of the goals of the different powers builds up piece by piece until it is all laid out to horrifying view and the player will have to find some way to save it all.

In the end they are both stories of player saves the world. But the development of the story and the complexity of the two make the SS2 game much more immersive and enjoyable. They could both be compelling stories but the CRAFTING of the story in SS2 is what makes it compelling while the NWN2 story leaves nothing to the imagination of anyone participating in it.

Gaming isn’t about pretty pictures and getting the most points and exploding the most bad guys. It’s about story telling. That is why NWN1 had legs – the user community had the tools to tell stories. That is why SS2 stands up so well after all these years since it’s release - it is a well told story. I can’t wait for the next good story to come along to play.

TO MUCH INFORMATION!

I have set a goal for myself of updating this blog at least twice a week. It is good for me to write and get things out - it's a creative exercise which I need and is also sometimes fun. This week I've been reviewing some things I've written for a therapy assignment and doing a little re-writing so my efforts have been focused there at bit rather than here. However, I think some of them I could put in both places..... errr.... so I will. Neah!.

These are bullet point type answers to a series of questions that I was trying to answer. They are not fully complete in and of themselves since they are designed to get thoughts out on paper that can then be discussed. So don't take them to be the end all be all of my thoughts. I suppose you can if you want though. Heck that's not my problem if you do - but if you do and then I surprise you you can't come back to me and say that it's not like what I said on my blog. Heh.

My blog comments will be in this color and answers to the questions will be in this color. Anyhoo without further ado here is one answer to the question what do I feel when I'm upset or uncomfortable:

When I’m upset my feelings are largely based in anger. I feel frustrated at things I can not control and want to escape into something simple and manageable. When I’m uncomfortable – my feelings are often uncertainty – I really dislike new experiences and will worry over and over about what I need to do or be or say or act when I’m about to do something for the first time. I’ll play the event over and over in my mind trying out different possibilities and practicing facial expressions and potential responses I could make. Then I worry self consciously that other people just do this kind of stuff naturally and it’s weird that I have to practice.

I saw a Dilbert cartoon once where Dilbert was talking with Dogbert in the bedroom as Dilbert was preparing for work. Dilbert was practicing his smile in the mirror and Dogbert reminded him that it was time to practice his sneezing. The punch type line was that Dilbert said that other people make it seem so natural. I don't think I'm quite as extreme as that cartoon but I have to admit that sometimes I HAVE practiced saying things or expressions and have worried that I'll do it weirdly. It does seem natural for some people and maybe not for me. It could all be perception since I have no idea what everyone else feels - maybe we are all like that.

One of the questions was what do you believe in. This was a very hard one to answer. There doesn't seem much of a way to condense the question down to simple answers and starting places. I've re-written this one several times and, frankly, I'm still not happy with it - I don't think it captures the depth of what I believe but simply superficially mentions a number of things that I believe in. Again - this isn't an end all be all answer but a good discussion point. It's also not a testimony meeting - I deliberately left much of my religious feelings and beliefs out of the answer to avoid sounding like I was answering a question in Sunday school..

I believe that people should be able to get along. I think selfishness causes most problems in the world, including the ones I create for myself. I believe we are here because of a plan prepared by our Heavenly Father – but we can’t fully understand our place in that plan or how it really works because we are limited in our views in this world. I believe in trying to make things a little bit better. I believe in being a good friend. I believe laughing is one of the best things you can do. I think time spent at home is more valuable than time spent outside of the home. I believe that the rules aren’t always the best solution but are usually trustworthy. I believe we are here to be good friends and to have good friends.

See what I mean? It's to pat - to simple - I'd probably need pages and pages to really answer that question and each day I might give a different answer to that question depending on where I was at that day and what was on my mind. I think there are some good core ideas there but that the medium of answering this question is perhaps to shallow to allow a real answer.

What am I good at what am I bad at?:

I am extremely loyal and hold on to things longer than others would. I try to make things better. I am a peacemaker. I am a great reader and a wonderful cook. I like creating things. I am very funny when I’m comfortable with whom I’m with. I can tell a decent story. However, I’m introverted and struggle to reach out to others. I have to remind myself to listen to others rather than think about what I want to say. I am to often selfish. I am afraid that people I love will leave me. My self confidence is low enough that doing something new is really hard for me to do.

I think that a lot of people struggle with self confidence. The past year I've been practicing doing things for myself to improve that weakness in myself. It's funny but stopping to buy myself a new book or something is an easy way to tell myself that I like myself and I'm good enough and heck, I even deserve good things. That is a surprisingly effective way to improve my self confidence. The connection may not seem obvious but it's there. As I affirm my own value to myself - my reliance on external indicators of value decrease and as a result I am more comfortable with my own self and therefore more confident in my ability to take care of myself. It's not that I convince myself that I'll always do well or succeed but rather that even when I don't I'll still have value to me.

OK, do you know too much about me yet? Well are you still reading? Whew. Well I'll do one more and then quit. This was my favorite question to answer in the whole document (and there were 32 questions that I have answers for). The question was how do I feel about me. It was fun to answer because as I did so I was remembering how I have felt about me in the past and contrasting that to how I feel about me now. I could ramble on about this but I'll let my bullet pointy type answer speak for itself.

I like me. I feel positive about where I’m at and which way I’m going. I am no where near perfect – nor where I want to ultimately be but I’m also much more at ease with myself than I’ve ever been before in my life. I know more about my feelings and thoughts. I understand better why I do what I do. I’m able to form stronger friendships with others. I have learned how better to care for myself and I like doing it. I don’t get drawn into conflict as easily as I once did. I have a better spiritual life than ever before. I fool myself less.

DON’T SHOOT….. SHOOT

I have whined before about liking older style games over the newer, and in my opinion, spazier, ones. I ran across a link the other day at the Gnomes Lair about how to update your old System Shock 2 with new user created patches and goodness. It made me long for that experience again so I dug around in the boxes in my closet until I found the disks. SS2 is available on home of the underdogs as well. Then I downloaded as many of the recommended patches as I could. (Two of them are on a site that has exceeded its monthly bandwidth allowance and is now shut down till the end of the month). I installed everything and managed, after a little frustration to get it running.

FYI ASIDE: The trick to making it run smoothly is that this engine does not like hyper threaded and multi-core systems. After launching the initial program open up the task manager, find the sshock2.exe in the process list, right click it, choose set affinity and unclick things until only one (1) CPU is enabled for that process. Until I did that it would crash every few minutes.

The first time I ever played this game I was at a game company that was closing its office. There were basically two people left at this point me and the money guy. My job was to turn all the computers off when corporate HQ gave the money guy the high sign. His job was to fire me and then himself and turn out the lights.

Since there wasn’t anything to do until the word came down I had a lot of time to kill so I played System Shock 2. It was an amazing game and still one of my favorites. One of things that I really liked about it was the style of game play verses the other popular games (Quake of some version or other). There was no rocket jumping, no hyper spazing out – but rather careful, methodical game play.

Resources on the Vaun Braun were very limited requiring the player to use careful tactics to succeed. The basics of the game are: you are in your fourth year of service with one of the three branches of the UNN (the futuristic space military). You wake up aboard the Vaun Braun with no memory of why you are in the medical section and a brand new cybernetic implant. You suddenly start getting e-mail from a mysterious helper and begin to explore the ship.

The story is an absolute hoot so I’ll leave it there at that. It unfolds slowly as you collect data records from the missing crewmembers and e-mails from your helper and loudspeaker announcements from the ships AI, Xerxes, and the psychic emanations from dead crewmembers (ie ghosts).

I had forgotten about the ghosts and as I was exploring the beginning levels of the game I was startled by the appearance of the first ghost complaining about one of the systems on the ship. It was a blast – it’s very rare that a game is well written enough and atmospheric enough to evoke that type of response. The list of games that have actually startled me is low. (Lets see, X-COM, Thief, System Shock 1, Thief 2, System Shock 2 and that might be it. At least off the top of my head that is it. Pattern there? Anyone notice that?)

I would very much like to find more games like SS2. I have hopes that BioShock which is made my many of the same people who worked on System Shock and the Thief projects plays the same way. Some of the descriptions leave me hopeful that it will fulfill this role. And I have to say I love some of the artwork I’ve seen. It has an older, stylistic feel to it that reminds me of the Fallout games. It doesn’t come out until later on in the year and it has already slipped a ship date – hopefully they will be able to ship a completed and well done game. But for now I think I’ll play a little more of this SS2 and enjoy some gamer nostalgia.

I ALREADY READ THAT

I love reading. It’s one of my all time favorite activities. When I was younger and had lots more free time than I do now I could read hundreds of pages in a day – even to the point of reading whole novels in one day. I still love reading although it usually takes me longer to finish a book than when I was younger.

I find a lot of pleasure in reading beyond just having a story too. I love the feel of the book in my hands and the sound of the pages as I turn them. I especially love the smell of a book – the glue and paper and ink. It evokes a feeling of goodness and safety that I just eat up. In fact the smell of books is one of the things that make libraries so great – smelling all those books in the same building is one of my favorite parts of going to the library.

I go to the library a lot. There are tons of books to read and more coming out each month and I’ll never read them all. The library is a good way to try and stay up on the oncoming tide of books. Most of the books I read all the way though I enjoy but for most of them I’ll never read them again. There are some special books that I love to read over and over. Those ones are my favorites. Those are the ones I buy – and put proudly on my bookshelf. Those are the ones I loan out to get other people “infected” with the series. They are almost always a series.

Lists are ephemeral things – always changing and shifting depending on mood and sun spots, and what I read last, and what is happening in my life. So for your pleasure here is a list – presented in no particular order – of books that I like to re-read. The ground rules for the list are: 1) Fiction – I’m going to leave off religious and non-fiction books that I have re-read. Even though some of them I have re-read many many times and often find enjoyment in them. This is a fiction list. 2) A series of books will get a single entry. 3) I am allowed to change any of my rules at any time for what ever reason I feel like, thus reflecting the basic ephemeral nature of lists that I posited above. Heh.

1) The Dresden Files – I’ve just started re-reading this series and I must say it’s better the second time around. I’m picking up on nuances that I missed before that foreshadows things that have happened in later books and also items that portend major events still to come. My favorite is still Dead Beat – since that one created my most powerful emotional response to any of the books but they are all lots of fun.

2) The Lord of the Rings – This is the series that started it all for me. I reread this every few years or so. In fact I’ve had to purchase the series twice now because my first set of books had fallen apart from being read so much. It still has the ability to evoke powerful emotions in me as I read through it.

3) The Company Novels – Kage Baker created a wonderful character in the Botanist Mendoza and I’ve enjoyed reading all of her works in the company series. Literature Specialist Lewis is also a fascinating character. The primary draw to this series are the compelling characters and the drama they find themselves in – but the meta-story of the creating of the company and what happens in the future are also lots of fun.

4) Cryptonomicon – one of the few “alternate history” novels that I have ever really enjoyed. This one uses several different viewpoints to create a larger story – a near future, a past, and a further-past. Jumping from viewpoint to viewpoint is a refreshing change (although it does make the reading more complex) from most simple stories and it allowed for a richer story line where I as the reader know more of the nuances than the characters in the book do.

5) Snow Crash – Another book by the author of Cryptonomicon, Neil Stephenson. This one is a fascinating what-if story about could a virus be created that will crash a human brain. It’s very sic-fi in nature and includes one of the most fun opening chapters I’ve ever read – The Deliverator!

6) Neuromancer and all the sprawl novels. In 1984 I read Neuromancer and couldn’t put it down. I re-read it almost immediately after finishing it the first time which is quite rare for me. I loved the way William Gibson creates a chewy (for lack of a better term) novel where things are described in allegory requiring me to pause and imagine things as they go along. This has one of my favorite opening lines of all time too “The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead channel.” I have liked all of Gibsons novels but the Sprawl Trio and the complementary book of short stories are my favorites by him.

7) The galactic center series by G. Benford – This one almost didn’t make the list. I have reread it several times but some of the stories are definitely more fun than the others. If I wasn’t just a little weird I might skip some of the stories and stick with the others – but a part of me likes completeness and so I start at the beginning and read through to the end. This series posits a machine intelligence living around the galactic center that believes that biological life is a threat to it and so wages war on biology where ever it finds it. The story starts on earth with man exploring orbit and the solar system. The later stories skip ahead and show tribes of people living on abandoned colony worlds – fighting the machine invaders and others in space ships trying to reach safety. All in all the middle of the series is the best part but the beginnings and ending serve to make a nice framework.

8) Foundation novels - this is another series I read long long ago. The first three Foundation novels seem to be written for younger audiences and I can see why they appealed to me as a child. I like them still when I read them now but it no longer fires my imagination as it once did. The later stories in the series were more complex and longer and hold up better when reading them as an adult. However, the first three are the ones that remind me of the sense of wonder that good stories can create and when I read them again I am transported back to that feeling I had when I first read them.

9) The Order of the Stick – This isn’t technically a book but since I’m allowed to break any of my own rules I’m going to include it. I have three of these books currently (book 0, 1 and 2) and I love them all. A comic that can make me laugh out loud when I re-read it is definitely a keeper and one that I’m happy to pay money for to support the artist. Most jokes loose their power once you have heard them once but in OotS the comedy is often derived from the characters and situations but even the sight gags and rules jokes are often funny enough because of which character is participating that I will often break out laughing every time I see it.

10) Dilbert – The Dilbert books also have the ability to make me laugh when I re-read them. They are not as funny as OotS but a few repeated laughs in each book makes them keepers. Some of the lines really stick with me and I find my self anticipating panel when I know it will be uttered.

11) Shermans Lagoon – I really liked these at first but they seem to be more repetitive lately. I think I have all the ones published to date and these do pass the “make me laugh again” test but I’ve noticed that the later books feel very familiar – as if covering the same ground over and over. I’ll probably keep buying them for a while in hopes that it changes but if nothing does I’ll just stick with what I have and enjoy them for what they are.

12) Hitchhikers Guide novels – I’ve read these dozens of times. My favorite books are still the first three but all of the series has good stuff going for it. Seeing Arthur Dent finally get some happiness in the later books was lots of fun but nothing has matched him discovering that his good friend Ford Prefect was an alien and his adventures through time and space are by far the highlights of the series. I should add at this point that I also enjoyed the Dirk Gently Holistic Detective Agency novels as well and they are very re-readable too. I was surprised to learn that one of these novels was VERY much like an episode of Dr. Who but when I watched the episode again and saw that Douglas Adams was the writer for that episode the surprise vanished.

13) The Discworld novels – how can a list of things to re-read not make mention of Terry Prattchet? This guy is hysterical. The novels are delightfully silly and fun to read but there is also a deeper level of humor to them that is just as delicious. I can still remember the moment of realization I had when the thought occurred to me: “Ank-Morpork is America!” Suddenly a whole new level of the story was opening to me and I re-read the series looking for the subtler layers and jokes woven through out the entire series.

Well there you have it. A list off the top of my head of…. Ummmm… 13 good stories to re-read. I’m sure there are others and you list may vary. In fact my list tomorrow may vary too – but I expect that any variations in my list will be only to grow it as I realize I totally forgot something else that I just love.

FOR WHOM THE NERF BATS

I play DDO once a week with a bunch of friends. I’ve enjoyed it as a chance to play with friends but the overall game hasn’t been anything to write home about. Some of the design decisions were pretty lame and the game is – like most MMORPGs – multi-player whack-a-mole.

The March update to the game introduced a new system of using action points. The action point system was one of my least favorite parts of the game. You can use action points to buy enhancements for your character. These are supposed to allow you to specialize your character into different areas and abilities. You were allowed to pick four enhancements to your character and each mini-level (each level is divided up into 5 mini levels) you would receive an action point to spend. If you had any unused action points when you hit a major level (level 5 to level 6 for example) you would loose those unspent action points forever.

My character is now level 6 and from level 1 to level 6 I had thrown away well over half of the action points ever awarded to me. In fact, one of my character enhancements I had kept since level one for lack of an upgrade path for it. All of the other enhancements were in pretty much the same boat – they were things I’ve had for ages and were at low levels of effectiveness.

The March update scrapped all that and now allows you to have more than 4 enhancements. As a part of that process each character has had their enhancements removed and all their action points restored so that they can re-select enhancements. This was a tremendous improvement on the previous system. In addition if you don’t like what you’ve changed it to you can pay some in-game money and reset them again and try one more time.

These changes to the action point system made my character a much more interesting bard. The highlights include: I have 20% increase to the time that my song effects linger, I have 40 more spell points than before, my sonic and healing spells are 20% more effective than before and I have a 3% chance of generating a “critical” on sonic and healing spells which adds a 1.25 multiplier to the numerical effects of such spells. In addition to that my haggle skill is +3 better than before, I got +1 to my charisma score, my Inspire Courage song adds a +1 to attack and damage (before it was only damage) and I have a 10% improvement in effectiveness of healing spells cast on me. The only decrement I see to my character is that in spite of taking two levels of extra bard song I can only perform a song 8 times before resting where as previously I could do 11. It seems like a small price to pay for the improvements to my character.

For me the nerf bat hit a triple.

For others the nerf bat seems to have hit them right between the eyes. The rouge in our party, Coyote, was really unhappy with the changes to the enhancement system. He was previously enjoying a +3 bonus to all sorts of skill checks that was converted into a time based effect that only lasts for 30 seconds now. We stumbled into several traps that he was unable to detect for some reason. Hopefully that was due to a design of the dungeon and not to his abilities being nerfed but that is yet to be determined.

The rest of the party wasn’t very vocal about their changes. The Paladin/Rouge (what a combo) seemed to like his but I don’t know what they were except that he did get some skill bonuses. What is that score – a single, a double?

I know our wizard took an enhancement that makes it so monsters don’t mind being blown up with fireballs quite so much. That is a pretty cool enhancement since she has a tendency to attract a lot of monster attention after cutting loose with a powerful spell. I certainly spent less time hanging back with the wizard to pull beasties off of her than previously so that’s an enhancement that works for me too! I’d call this a nerf bat double just for that alone unless there are detriments I don’t know about.

The warrior – I have no idea. He always seems to be able to smash stuff dead before I can even hit them. I didn’t notice anything different – so nerf bat score: unknown.

The cleric – seemed to be reasonably happy with his changes. He did note that he was using spell points much more quickly than previously. He also took enhancements to the effectiveness of his healing spells. From outside it looks like at least a sold single for him.

All in all it’s a score for the home team (that would be us) with these changes.

HOW BAD CODING HURTS OTHERS: AN EXAMPLE

I like daylight savings time. I love having the light in the evenings during the summer. It makes the baseball games much more pleasant not to mention how much more time you can play with or have the kids play outside. It’s a sign of spring. Loosing that hour in the spring is quite a pain but I really do like having the daylight hours match the sunlight.

In case you haven’t noticed (and believe me some of you haven’t). (Well actually. Now that I think about those who will probably be reading this, I have to take that back. I’m sure all of you, that I know that will see this, HAVE noticed so let me try this whole paragraph again.)

In case you haven’t noticed (and believe me there are potentially some people who might possibly one day read this page who haven’t noticed) this year the daylight savings time has been extended. It start earlier in the spring and it ends later in the fall. This by itself is nice. If you are in charge of patching a Microsoft Exchange server or two – it’s definitely not nice.

Let me explain: In order to patch the Windows 2000 clients – I had to update them to the latest security patch level and run some regedits.

In order to patch the Windows XP clients – I had to update them to the latest patch levels by running the Windows Update utility.

In order to patch the Apple OSX clients – I had to update them to the latest patch levels by running the Software Update utility.

In order to patch the Windows 2000 servers – I had to update them to the latest security patch levels and run some regedits.

In order to patch the Windows 2003 servers – I had to update them to the latest patch levels by running the Windows Update utility.

In order to update Exchange Server 2003 – I had to download and install the Exchange calendar update tool and download and install the TZMOVE.exe tool and download and install the patch to the TZMOVE.exe tool. Then run the MSextmzcfg.exe to extract all calendar data from the server we were working on. Run the batch file that produced. Then edit the .ini file associated with the batch file to include a different flag and run the batch file again. Then edit the mailboxes.txt (which is the data file associated with the batch file) file to include all the files that the MSextmzcfg.exe tool marked as non-existing. Re-run the batch file….twice, once with each option from before. Then edit by hand a new mailbox.txt file with the names of any resource mailboxes on your server, edit the ini file with a secret undocumented flag and run the batch file again to update resources. Then go to the exchange server and make sure that it is patched to the latest service pack level, and download and install the CDO update (why they call it CDO I’ll never know). In my case this update returned the result that I wasn’t patched to SP2 even though I clearly was. Beat head against wall. Discover that because I did an in-place upgrade from Windows Server 2000 to Windows Server 2003 that there are three registry keys that need to be deleted. Remove the keys, reinstall Exchange SP2, re-run the Exchange CDO update, and reboot the exchange server. Open up outlook and manually check your calendar – notice that almost all of your appointments have been changed to reflect the date correctly but a few haven’t. Open each of the wrong ones manually, click the recurring tab, click OK, click save. Do that for each one that is wrong and you are done.

*starts singing* Which one of these is not like the other, which one is different, can you tell? */stops singing*

I think I’ve found what castle I need to storm. I’m pretty sure I can find pitchforks, torches and mobs of other to help me. But first I need to go and do this whole process on the other server.

SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED

I like spooky stories.

I’ve watched a few episodes of the X-Files over the years. I mean, really, who hasn’t? They are, or at least were, heavily syndicated and they made like 7 seasons worth of shows. I almost always enjoyed the show but never really got into it – for quite a number of reasons, most of which were dumb and involved me caving in. Anyhooo…..

I put the first season on my Netflix account and I received the first disk the other Friday. Perfect timing, I had shows to watch over the weekend. After having had a chance to watch the pilot episode and the first several series episodes I have been smacking my forehead going “Why didn’t I watch this?”

Hmmm, that’s not very clear. Let me rephrase. I really really really really really liked the first disk. The shows were clever and well written. The acting is surprisingly good for a pilot episode. The music was perfectly fitted to the pacing of the episodes. The stories were spooky and intelligent enough to treat the non-rational aspects of the show seriously and yet not crazily.

Hmmmmm, maybe that’s not very clear either. Let me try this. I think it would be _fun_ to believe that there are spookies and beasties, and monsters and aliens and all sorts of weirdness out in the world. It would be better than knowing that so many of the bad things that are done to people are done by other people. Plus stories about monsters and beasties are fun because they create an attitude of “let’s beat the monster”. Sometimes we all want to be part of the mob of townsfolk with our torches and pitchforks.

These episodes of the X-Files were well enough written to appeal to that part of me that wants to believe and yet also allowed for the viewpoint that things could possibly be completely rationally explained – it’s just that our understanding wasn’t good enough. In other words, they captured the FUN of letting yourself believe in something fantastic – without preaching that it’s true.

Contrast this to Art Bell and George Noorys radio shows called “Coast to Coast AM”. These people also talk about the beasties and the strange and the aliens and the unbelievable and yet they portray an attitude of "it is all real and those that don’t believe are simply deluded". I do enjoy listening to this show from time to time but it is fascinating to hear these earnest believers call in but I wouldn’t say its fun. It's more like watching a train wreck to me - I just cant stop once it starts.

X-Files captured the fun of the fantastical. I think they will need more than that to sustain my interest for long but they have already laid the ground work for some interesting character development and for a meta-story involving Mulders place in the FBI and how Scully relates to him. All in all it was a promising beginning to a show and extremely entertaining. I’ve bumped disk two up in my queue and hope to be watching it soon.

I can’t believe I waited so long to look into this program. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find my pitchfork and see if I can agitate a mob up to storm a castle.

FILTER OF IRRATIONALITY

All the stuff we think about is filtered through our perceptions and it quite often may have nothing to do with being rational. Take my last rant on turn based games verses real time click fest games. (See I can’t even describe the rant without my prejudices showing through). Some people would say that I’m irrationally biased against the newer style of games because of my enjoyment of the old games. You know what? They might be right – or at least it may be part of why I like turn based games better.

I talked with a friend the other day who illustrated the point perfectly. This friend who is facing a minor medial procedure told me about her nervousness with needles because of an experience she had as a child in a doctors office. The experience was a once in a life time type happening but because it did happen to her anytime that a situation in life comes up that resembles that childhood experience her filters interpret it as scary.

We all have filters. If we don’t accept that and learn what they are we are doomed to be ruled by our own filters.

I have a filter that I secretly fear that everyone I care about will leave me. It’s an irrational fear. It’s based on a real experience from my childhood when my mother passed away after a bout with cancer. It is silly to think that all my friends and loved ones will also just go away but the hidden three year old in my mind IS irrational and to him that irrational fear is no less real.

I’m a grown up now. (OK I know people who would disagree with that.) (OK some more, even sometimes I would disagree with that because I like being silly and childish sometimes.) But the point is that I’m capable of re-filtering my filters by consciously choosing to acknowledge them and then deal with them in the way that a child never could. I can rationally examine my relationships and conclude that people aren’t going to just abandon me and even if people do choose to move on it’s not my fault since everyone gets to make their own choices for themselves.

I think that is the only way to counter the way our brains will automatically perceive the world. We must consciously accept our biases and then choose to counter them or not.

TAKING MY TURN

For the last several weeks my desktop wallpaper is some artwork that was used in Fallout. I picked it because I have been wishing lately for a chance to play an old style turn based combat game. Something Coyote just said really made these thought crystallize for me today. I’m really not a fan of the current click-until-one-of-you-dies style of game play. I never enjoyed Diablo or any of its many, many, many clones. I’m talking about old style – X:COM, Jagged Alliance, Fallout style games. I really miss them.

I don’t know of any games that would scratch that particular psychic itch. David Moffat of Ausgamedev.com has created a game called Omega Syndrome that may help. I almost installed my current copy the other day but decided to contact him about recent updates. He said he is about to release a final version really soon now so I’m waiting for him for now.

I also own the games mentioned above but I’m not desperate enough yet to figure out how to make them play on a current system since they are all fairly old games. I’m sure that I would be saddened to get them running only to realize how dated they look now. Even while enjoying them I’m sure I’d wish that someone would create a game with that style but using current production values.

I know I’m in the minority here. Obviously the clicky games are popular because they sell – and they must sell because people like them.

It’s enough to make me think: why don’t I like them when everyone else does?

I can think of some things that answer that. Clicky games don’t lend themselves to parties. Clicky games take away the repeated tactical puzzle element of combat. Clicky games seem to fast.

I enjoy putting together a group to explore the game world with. This may only be for nostalgic reasons but I remember one of my favorite parts of early RPG games was deciding which four characters I would create or take along with me as I entered the game. One aspect of the early Ultima games I loved was looking around for each of the familiar party members and getting them to join the group for one more crack at saving Britannia. One of the reasons that Ultima 7: Serpent Isle ranks so high on my favorite-o-meter is that early in the game an important member of your party is separated from you in a dramatic fashion and you spend a chunk of the game figuring out how to rescue him. I guess I’m just a grouper. And while that makes me sound very fish like I mean instead one that likes playing in a group even if the group is all imaginary friends.

Another aspect of the old style I like is the puzzle element. I spent hours working on the squaddies in X:COM trying to get the perfect blend of small arms, heavy arms and skills into one squad. I’d compare statistics and load outs between different squads and see which one worked best in what situation. Even with all that optimization there would come moments like when I’ve just come up against a new alien with some new capability and all my careful balancing work is now useless because three of the squaddies have just been brain-eaten and turned into bad guys and now I have a whole new tactical environment and need to figure out what to do next or I’m about to loose the mission. The thrill of puzzling out what to do and how to do it was satisfying. Clicky games seem to remove all of the tactical elements from combat instead replacing them with strategic choices of what do I equip my characters with before meeting up with the bad guys and clicking my mouse button as fast as I can. Strategic elements are fun – X:COM again displays that well between building and provisioning your bases all they way down to equipping your response teams but when combat begins I really want tactics to be important. Tactics are NOT: how well I can manipulate my mouse and keyboard but rather important choices in how I allocate the finite resources available to me and how I respond to the situation as I work through the mission. These are choices that do not lend themselves well to rapid clicking in a real time game – in fact they become silly in real time combat style games. Only in turn based games are you truly capable of implementing effective tactical solutions to evolving game play.

Now I have to admit that I haven’t played very many of the new style clicky games. I did play Diablo and I played Dungeon Siege. I didn’t really enjoy either one and never finished either. And I haven’t had much good to think about that style of game play since then. They felt to fast – to simple – to repetitive to remain interesting for long to me. Maybe there are new ones that have over come these problems and if there are I hope someone will let me know what they are.

ESSAYS ON SERENITY

I read a fun book over the last few days. It was called Finding Serenity. It is a compilation of essays about the short lived Joss Wheden show Firefly. The book was edited by Glenn Yeffeth and Jane Espenson although on my copy at least the cover only lists Jane Espenson.

I liked the show Firefly – it was clever and quirky and odd and seemed to fit me really well. I loved the characters even when I hated the characters because sometimes they drove me nuts. Kaylee was just the cutest engineer ever and Wash was hysterical and Shepherd Book was calm and mysterious and each character had something great going for them.

The real charm of the show for me was the way the characters interacted with each other. It wasn’t exactly a functional crew but they did manage to get by and they did so in a believable way. I loved the essential humanness of each character, they all had flaws and defects but they were also vibrant and good and caring too.

The essays in this book gave me pause to think about the show again. One of the things that struck me most about the essays was how many different positions people could take. One author applauded the show for creating such strong female characters while another ripped on the show for creating such weak female characters. I wasn’t sure for a while which show I had watched after reading those two essays. After consideration I think that both authors were right. It goes back to what I was saying before about humanness.

No person is strong at all times and in all ways – any more than someone is always weak. Each REAL person is a blend of good and bad, strong and weak, brave and cowardly, dumb and smart. That is one of the things that makes us all human – and I think essentially lovable. That is why the characters on this show were loveable. If they were always perfect there would be no opening to love them when they struggle with their problems or overcome a character flaw.

One of the other essays concerned the music of the show. I was surprised to see how much analysis this person was able to pull out of the soundtrack especially since I usually listen to soundtracks and try to find themes for particular characters or situations. Sometimes I get so involved in the music I miss parts of the show and have to mentally or physically rewind to catch the actual dialog. Sometimes the music is more fun than the actual show itself. In any case the essay on the music made me really think about what can be conveyed audibly and yet without words – the next time I catch an episode of Firefly I’m going to listen for these queues.

The highlight essay of the book was done by Jewel Staite in which she picks five memories from each episode to share. The most interesting thing about this essay is that either she was channeling her character Kaylee or she is truly a happy bubbly person since a feeling of that personality type came through very strongly. The memories she shared were almost invariably something that made her laugh out loud or something that she really liked about one of the other actors. She came across as a fun person in the essay much like her character comes across in the show.

In any case – the book was quite enjoyable to read. If you are looking for nostalgia hit from the show this would be a fun book to check out.

TRY IT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT

I didn’t know MSN would display my iTunes songs!

I use MSN Messenger for my contacts. It works pretty well and I’ve created groups for friend and work contacts. I’ve fiddled with the options and fonts and colors and I find it works for me pretty well. I have set up messenger windows so my friends show up in their own colored window. I know lots of people use Trillian or some other type of multi-service application but MSN has worked for me. Recently MSN has started a beta program where I can actually contact people using Yahoo messenger right through my MSN. I expect that more and more messenger clients will trend towards universal availability.

I also use iTunes. I love iTunes. I think it’s a killer app especially since I also have an iPod that I also love. For several months I didn’t have an iPod and it drove me nuts. I listen to it in the car and every once in a while when falling asleep. I am thrilled with the ability to have ALL my music with me in once convenient package. The Apple DRM model I’m not thrilled with especially with respect to the movies and TV shows available on their site. If I buy a video I don’t want to be restricted on where I’ll play it back so I will stick with DVDs as my purchases for now since they are easily converted to play on my iPod or computer or where ever I want to but the reverse is most definitely not true. That, though, is a thought for another day.

MSN Messenger has a spot for a personal message that you can type in that to share with all of your contacts. I love this idea as a method of customizing the experience and sharing how you are feeling right now. I love these but I really have a hard time when it comes to typing in my own. For a while I had “cuddly yet astringent”. This was from a comment that someone made to me that I enjoyed. I’ve tried movie quotes and song quotes but filling out that blank box is almost as hard as coming up with a name for a character for me. I usually just leave it blank.

MSN Messenger, like lots of IM clients has a “Show What I’m Listening To” button. I’ve seen it used before by people in my contact list. Their personal message would display the name of the song that was currently playing on their computer and the artist that is performing it. I always looked at that option while agonizing over what to put in my personal message space and wish it would work with my iTunes. HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART: I never tried it – I just wished it would work for me. I made the assumption that it would not since I was using a Microsoft IM client and an Apple music player.

HERE IS THE POINT OF THE IMPORTANT PART: I was wrong. It totally works together. I never even tried and just moped about wishing it would work for me without finding out. I was astounded the other day when I turned it on and it worked. I didn’t have to tell it what my music player was or anything it just worked!

As a person I have a tendency to get stuck in a rut doing things one way and one way only. I am reasonably risk adverse and definitely a comfort seeker so doing things the usual way usually feels good to me.

The experience of MSN Messenger and iTunes just WORKING together when I never thought they would is a good lesson for me. Try things. It’s ok. Sometimes they will work and I’ll be pleased. Sometimes they won’t work and I won’t be any worse off than I was before. Sometimes it’s the little reminders that make the big differences.

PLOT HAMMER

I don’t mind being forced into a story. Usually. Let’s face it I’m playing a game because I like stories. I expect my games to have a story to tell and I don’t have a need to try and break out of the story somehow (like by trying to kill Lord British or slaughtering everyone in Cyrodiil which is the typical way people like to break out of stories in games) – I’d much rather enjoy the story.

The more “serious” the game the more I expect a good story. I was playing Dungeons and Dragons Online the other night and we were observing how the doors to rooms would open just as soon as the last monster in the room was killed. Coyote was wondering what magical spell those doors were based on. I’m pretty sure that the spell would be Mordenkinens Plot Hammer. In a game like DDO which is essentially group whack-a-mole I don’t mind it. We’re just there to have a little fun together. I don’t expect much from the story or the world in an MMORPG. Other games particularly stand alone single player games I expect more from. Some stories are not enjoyable and that is annoying enough to break my suspension of disbelief and begin to resent the plot hammer. Another time is when it’s just do darn FAKE that I can’t take it anymore. These are mistakes in games where there is an expectation of quality story telling and a believable world.

Neverwinter Nights 2 is for the most part a fun game. I have mostly found the stand alone game to be plesant to play. Your milage may vary. I’ve had some gripes about being forced into a play style of “kill ‘em all and let Pelor sort them out” when I’d rather try some sneaking around or some sort of subtle approach to the game. And I have run into two bugs during my playing of the game (I’m currently in Act III – attempting to win the trust of the IronFist clan) but neither of them has been game stopping in any way although both were somewhat annoying.

TANGENT: The first was a looping cinematic scene that made fighting the actual battle that started immediately after the movie very difficult to do. Move two steps, start casting a spell, watch the movie again clicking on all the dialog options again, finish the spell, select another party member, watch the movie again clicking on all the dialog options again, open the inventory and select an item to use, try to target the item but….. watch the movie again clicking on all the same dialog options …again. Anyway, that was irritating but not critical.

LESS OF A TANGENT: The second bug was less odd. At one point I noticed I had a quest in my quest log I didn’t remember getting – and in fact the quest log told me to report back to someone because I’d found the mighty weapon it mentioned. Huh? I had no idea what it was talking about. I tracked down the person who had supposedly given me the quest and he went through a dialog tree that was apparently supposed to set that quest. The quest log stayed at the “return and report” message though. I eventually stumbled into an area with a big baddie and after defeating it I was treated to a little dialog that apparently was the weapon mentioned in the quest. Hurray! Ummmm except for one minor problem. It was the exact same weapon that I had JUST BOUGHT at the vendor right next to the guy who gave me the quest in the first place.

That’s right I went on a quest to obtain a holy weapon that I had just bought. Didn’t someone tell this guy there were two of them? Couldn’t he have said something like – go on this quest to get this holy weapon that is oddly just like the one in your hand right there because you are going to need at least one of them later? I mean really. *sigh*

Well the fact is that he couldn’t have done that because the story in NWN2 is on rails. The choices in NWN2 are limited to what companions you take with you (sometimes), what you equip your character with, and which few side quests there are that you do first. I had to go get the bad guy with the weapon in order to advance the story. It turns out that the weapon quest is a small value side quest for certain character classes. I was going to have that exact same fight in that exact same place and way - no matter what I did.

The other time the plot hammer really irks me in NWN2 is the out doors areas. Most of these areas look terrific and have a lot of character. However, after a while you begin to notice that the outdoors areas are all of two types – a big meadow surrounded by impenetrable barriers and narrow twisty trails surrounded by impenetrable barriers. I really enjoy exploring and every time I’m in an outdoor area in NWN2 I’m forcibly reminded how I can not. The indoors areas work very well in the game and have been one of the strengths of the game so far but almost every time I’m outside I feel irritated that I have to go here along this one particular little trail to get to where I’m going.

I am familiar enough with gaming and even some game development to see why the designers have created the game this way. It all comes down to the economics in the end – there has to be x amount of content and it has to fit together somehow and in between that there is tons of details like AI and world databases and spiffy effects so in all of that balancing it’s easy to make the choice of “ok the player can go here but not there because it’s easier for us to make it work that way”. I see that – and usually I’m forgiving of that. I’m willing to work with the designers because I bought the game to have fun. And it bugs me when something jars me out of the “fun zone” while I’m playing.

Looking back over this I think the whole point of the post was to say: Mordenkinens Plot Hammer. Oh well. Now I’ve said it twice so I should be good to go.

The moral of the story is: immersion is good in a game or any story telling device. And things that disrupt immersion are then, by definition, bad for the vehicle. Poorly wielded plot hammers will break immersion.

BLOG RESTART

In case you were anxiously checking this site waiting for updates I’ll have to apologize to you. I have felt for most of this past year that it wasn’t a good idea to be writing here so what I have written has been private. I’m starting to see signs that things are changing for the better and I also have been a little itchy to write again. Writing is cathartic sometimes and fun sometimes and a really good way for me to find out what I’m thinking.

Anyway I expect to have more posts here soon.

OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD

Well trying to earn some money and do what is right has turned out to be a lot more complicated than I had expected it to. After finishing up my first posting I was on my own for a while. I met up with a big, smelly, but nice enough, guy named Sampson. We took on a few odd jobs to earn some coin, while we were playing body guard for to oafs we ran into something awful.

A group of adventurers came along after some disagreements were resolved we ended up going with them to a remote tower to better protect our clients. That evening we were attacked by some sort of nasty undead rats and some scary snake like things. I felt right away that I should do whatever I could to prevent undead from attacking the living. Undead cringe in the glory of the sun and I knew it was my duty to fight them and any who would use them for their own purposes.

Even though the group is a bit, well, odd. The one that claims to be the princess certainly has connections and she treats her poor companion more like a pet than a person so I guess she could be a princess. The poor girl is some sort of pure innocent – unaware of how shamefully she is being used. The sailor seems decent enough, just a man out earning some coin I'd guess. The pretend pirate with airs of superiority, I guess you would call him, is selfish and vain. I suspect he would probably steal everything in site if he thought he could get away with it and might try for something that made him look good even if it was risky. The witch is a bit scary – the first night I met her she really let loose on the pirate so I think I'll just stay out of her way a bit. The really creepy one is the rat-man. Ugh – those guys are ugly up close. The mage is awfully quiet – I don't know much about her. At least there is a Paladin in the group – I feel confident that she would not be involved with a group if there was anything bad about them.

Well, we quickly learned that a stone golem had carried some boxes around the city that later turned out to have more undead in them. I'm glad I didn't meet the mummy – I heard it was a terrifying battle. So off we went. Did I ever mention that I don't like the sea? I know it's a bit odd for someone who lives on an island but my family has always been more involved with the land than the sea – someone has to produce all the things that get shipped.

The sea voyage to the island of the mage creator of the golems was pretty awful. We got caught in a storm – I was doing OK until everyone else in the cabin started loosing their lunches. The smell was all it took for me and up came all my insides too. Ouuugh! The stench and the mess was horrible. I don't think I've ever been so glad to make land fall and spend some time cleaning up.

The locals on the island were pretty wonderful. We ate dinner at a local house and enjoyed telling stories with each other. The next morning we started off to see the wizard. The locals cautioned us about the Ass-weres on the island and that there may be other creatures. I really wish they had been a bit more … well descriptive of the other creatures.

Shortly after starting off we ran into some sort of nasty plant. It whipped long tentacles around trying to grab us. Fortunately they didn't move very well and we were able to rip them apart from a distance. A few hours later we had a horrible experience. A horde of huge, ugly, nasty clicking bugs jumped out of a tree at us. They were horrible one of them jumped right on me and started burrowing in. There was blood, my blood, everywhere and I couldn't pull the damn thing off! I'm still shivering and weak from the bite that nasty thing gave me. Fortunately, with some help I was able to get free from it and they do make a satisfying squish when you land your mace just right.

Next we came to a river without any obvious way across. The current was a bit swift but the barbarian and the sailor thought we could make it across with some ropes. Good thing too since it turned out that the river was full of nasty little fish with a taste for flesh. Sampson jumped most of the way across the river with a rope and tied it onto something there. The rat guy ran right across next and the witch did some magic that just let her stroll across the river. I tried crossing on the ropes, as I got part way across the stupid things came undone and I was plunged into the water. I was terrified again – I could hardly swim with my armor still on and the current wasn't helping me any. I thrashed as well as I could towards the far shore but soon felt the sharp bites from the scaly fish. Blood, my blood, was filling the water around me and the nasty creatures were increasing in fury when Sampson helped me onto the bank of the river. I collapsed there almost un-willing to go any further into the wilderness. If there had been a way back to the village without crossing that river again I'd have taken it right then.

The rest of the group was able to cross the river without incident. We walked a bit further and set up camp for the evening. Hopefully we'll have some time to rest and nourish ourselves around the camp fire this evening. I feel like I'm learning a lot. One thing I've learned is that I really don't like the look of blood, my blood that is, it's not so bad to heal someone else that is hurt but I hate seeing my own. Another thing I've learned for sure is that the wilderness is not much fun. Looking out into the gathering gloom tonight I can hear sounds I can't place. I hope they are harmless fuzzy creatures that are supposed to be more scared of me than I am of them but with the horrible beasts I've met today I'm not so sure of that saying any more.

I'd like to learn some more about my traveling companions as well. I know I have been led to them to fight the evil we encountered but I'm not so certain why the others are here.

WACK-JOB NATION

Lately I’ve been listening to Coast to Coast AM with George Noory. My sister got me started on it – apparently Art Bell usually does the show but he is off in the Philippines setting up a new studio so in the meantime George is doing the broadcasts.

I have to say I’m sickly fascinated by the show. Privately I refer to it as Whack-Job nation since most of what they talk about is just totally out there. For example various types of werewolves, conspiracy theories, paranormal experiences, and the old stand-by UFO stories. Usually I am completely at odds with what ever they are talking about. I’m rather more skeptical.

Even so it’s fun to listen to. I’m mostly fascinated by the people that call in to it. Do people really believe these things? Well of course they do but how is it possible. Is it just that my frame of reference is so different than theirs that I can’t comprehend why they believe such things?

I suppose that is the point, after all, life is subjective. There is no one person with an absolute lock on what is or is not real. We all experience life through our own filters and color every experience with our own expectations and beliefs. Have you ever talked with someone and realized later that they only heard the part of what you were saying that they liked or agreed with or tried to remember something with someone else who was also there and each of you had different recollections? This is the phenomenon that I’m talking about. We all see things our own way. This doesn’t make me right and them wrong. In fact referring to them all as wack-jobs is simply an ego defense trying to make me feel better than them. Perhaps with someone else’s experiences I would hold different opinions too.

Well, the program provides one thing in abundance and that is entertainment. And to me that is the primary point of the program. Others may find it educational or affirming but to me it’s mostly silly and pleasant.

GAME MEMORIES

I was reading a friends blog today and it got me thinking about past game memories. I had a lot of fun playing games - especially with my friends. My buddy has quite a few "Game Moments" written up on his site. I felt like writing one of my own so I did and sent it to him. Here it is on this site too.



Guest Game Moment – Falcon 4.0


This is my all time favorite moment playing Falcon 4.0, a game Jay and I played a lot. The game had many flaws but it left some of my strongest game playing memories. The way the world worked and the battle field changed was something to behold. It was also stunningly gorgeous to look at. Nothing, at the time, even came close to how great it looked. I recall the first time I looked out through the reflections of my cockpit at the world spread out below me. I gasped it was so stunning.

I love the simulation aspect of many games and the more “real” I can make it the better I enjoy the game so I always played from inside the cockpit with a view of the instrumentation and the canopy. While the game engine supported switching to outside views I always felt that if I couldn’t check my own six from inside the cockpit I shouldn’t be flying a Falcon.

The hardest thing to learn in this game was the landings. I don’t even recall how may sets of landing gear I ripped off learning how to feather that plane down onto a runway. It was a point of pride to learn how to do it right with me and I spent a long time learning how to approach, line up, glide in and finally flare just right to squeal onto the tarmac without ruining a multi-million dollar (simulated) plane.

My weakest part of the game was air to air combat. Jay was great at that – his understanding of air to air tactics and resource (height, speed, weapons) management was unparalleled. I learned a ton just getting smoked out of the sky by him. Jay was always great to fly with – he has a great blend of aggressiveness and common sense. I tend to be more careful and Jay always pushed me to play just a bit harder. He may have briefly regretted that during this particular mission.

Anyway, Jay and I started up a new campaign one day and signed ourselves up for a mud moving mission. This particular mission had us hitting one of the games favorite first day targets a ship yard. We were loaded down with 500 lb bombs and wing-tip sidewinder missiles for air to air defense. We took off, formed up and headed to our first nav point. I loved listening to the chatter in this game as different flights called their positions and reports in.

Shortly after we passed over the FLOT we were passing to the west of an enemy air base. We were trying to stay out of trouble since we were loaded down with bombs and besides we had a CAP to take care of us right? As we were nearly abreast of the field we got a radar warning lock from a MiG-21. Looking over it was in visual range and had apparently just taken off from the strip. He was low and slow and probably shouldn’t have announced his presence. Jay locked him up and fired. Splash one. We looked around briefly but seeing no more immediate threats turned back towards our target. No sooner had we done so that another MiG-21 jumped us. Some how, this bandit had snuck up behind us. We were heavy and slow to turn or climb – the MiG-21 picked Jay as his first target and quickly maneuvered into gun range. Jay pulled right into a high yo-yo hoping to bring him around in front of me to get a shot. I tried a snap shot as he crossed in front but missed him.

At this point we were in trouble, Jay had a bad guy on his six and I missed the shot and was trying with everything I had to roll my plane onto him. Jay continued to climb and turn right, I was loosing ground on them trying to pull the same maneuver – Jay was always better at energy management than I was. I couldn’t even roll over far enough to get my radar to lock on the bogie since it was in a vertical sweep mode. Guns were out as I was loosing ground on them my only hope was to get a sidewinder off at him. I called out over the “radio” that I was un-caging my seeker head. The seeker heads of the sidewinder missiles were usually slaved to the planes radar to achieve their initial lock on. This makes it easier to pick a bad guy from a friendly. But with the bad guy out of the plain of my radar sweep that wasn’t going to help. Un-caging the seeker allowed it to roam the sky in its own independent pattern looking for a heat source to lock onto.

Jay called back – “Wait, don’t”. I replied “It’s the only way.” I was pretty familiar with the pattern that the seeker head would follow as it looked for a target and I was almost positive that it would acquire the MiG-21 before it found Jay. As I un-caged the seeker I quickly heard the growling tone that indicated it had a target and it was a loud, certain tone. I called out “I’ve got tone!” and then “Fox 2”, as I sent the missile on its way. I remember holding my breath as I watched the missile streak away towards Jay and the MiG. Who would it go after? The MiG broke off of Jay to try and turn away from the incoming missile but it was to late, it turns out that I did have a good lock and he had bled off to much energy trying to get Jay. BOOM! Splash one for me!

I don’t remember what we did next – I think we might have aborted the mission at that point, but we did live through it to drop bombs another day.