Monday, April 25, 2005


So I didn’t go on my trip. I’m pretty disappointed to miss out on it. Someone said things to me to give me cause to think it wasn’t a good idea. I listened. I thought about what was said. I agreed with the advice. I asked for a reality check from another advisor who also agreed. Crap.

It’s not fun to be disappointed. It’s not fun to be faced with the fact that I don’t always get “my way” all the time. I suppose that is just life. In fact one advisor told me that it’s good to practice being disappointed. It’s OK to feel it since it’s a normal part of life. The trick is how we respond to it.

So I tried to respond healthily. I planned other activities for my weekend. I got a lot accomplished. And when I went to my planned reward, a local AAA baseball game it started raining. Seriously, it was a beautiful day until I drove to the game, then it started to sprinkle. I got to the ball park around 5:30 for a 6:30 start. I bought a brat and a large drink and found my seat. It was a gentle sprinkle falling; the sky looked cloudy but unthreatening. Then it started raining harder, I took shelter under the stands, the sky got darker. The game was delayed once, then again. The rain slowed. The ground crew came out, I retook my seat. They painted the chalk lines on the first and third base lines. The ground crew covered the field back up. I waited. The announcer said they were tracking a storm on radar just south of the stadium. It started raining harder. At 7:46 the announcer said the game was rained out. Crap. Disappointed. Again. Crap.

In fact, it seems, right now, that life is full of disappointments. I experienced one last night. I’m anticipating one on Saturday. Things don’t go the way I hope or want and, bam, disappointment. The question I have is what to do about it. Well part of me wants to just run away and pretend the hurt isn’t there. Part of me wants to get angry and rail and complain (can you tell I’m complaining a bit in this post?) Part of me wants to just go back to bed, another escape.

I guess the rest of me thinks like this: I’m still OK even though things don’t go how I want. I think I can survive being disappointed. I think I can find something to enjoy even when larger things go wrong. I think I can care for myself still. I think I can choose not to pout (very much). I think I can make the best of my situation.

The final line makes a lot of sense to me. I can make the best of this situation. I have always been optimistic, even overly so, but I do believe in trying to find what I can in any situation and be grateful for that little happiness even if the overall situation is not ideal or even desirable. I can make the best of disappointment.

I missed my MLB game; I’m going to another one later. I missed my AAA game; they will exchange my ticket stub for another game. I was disappointed the other night; I can hope for the future. I anticipate being disappointed on Saturday; I know that what is happening is right and I can be glad to be there to share in the joy.

Now, if you will excuse me. I'm going to go get a cheeseburger.

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