Tuesday, July 13, 2004


John Bradshaw wrote in one of his books about the emtions of Anger, Sadness, Fear, Guilt, Shame and Joy. These are fundamental to us all he wrote and went further to name them all as e-motions or rather energy-motions. He said that these e-motions are the driving forces for why we do things.

Anger - we feel when our basic human needs are not being met and it drives us to action.

Sadness - we feel when we have pain and drives the process of healing.

Fear - we feel when our basic needs are threatned and it drives us to action.

Guilt - we feel when our values are not congruent.

Shame - we feel as a reminder that we are only human.

Joy - we feel when our needs are met

My life is fairly complex right now and so I stopped for a moment to think about how I fell into those categories.

Joy - I haven't felt joy for quite some time. I feel that I have many needs that are not being met.

Shame - I have lots of problems with shame especially since when I feel anger I feel feelings of shame mixed with it. I learned as a small child not to be angry but of course I am since I am only human. This is something I'm trying to conciously recognize and accept.

Guilt - I feel mostly congruent with my values in my personal life. I do feel guilty that I don't sepnd as much time with my children as I would wish.

Fear - I have lots of fear especially over my family. I'm afraid of getting divorced (I am currently separated from my wife). Living alone and not seeing my kids every day scares me. Thinking that my youngest is small enough that he may never remember living with dad scares me.

Sadness - I feel sad sometimes, but mostly I put my sadness off telling myself that my fears have not been realized and that they may not be. I feel like sadness is on hold as it were.

Anger - I feel sometimes angry. I am angry sometimes about how I have behaved and the mistakes that I have made. I am angry sometimes about how I feel that others who should be willing or able to meet my needs either can not or will not.

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